What if I don’t know what I want?

This is what 'a feeling' turns into. Photo by Dog Daze Photo at the Greenbriar Inn in Boulder, CO

What if I don’t know what I want?

Full disclosure here: I’ve actually been married twice. The first wedding is where my florist consult horror stories come from. The second wedding, I didn’t even bother because of how frustrating the first time was. 

So.

The first three flower consults I walked into, I sat down and got a rapid-fire list of cold questions:

• Do you need a bridal bouquet

• What shape do you want

• What flowers do you want

• Do you need bridesmaids bouquets

• What shape do you want

• What flowers do you want in those

• What flower do you want for the groom boutonniere

• How do you want the groomsman boutonnieres to be different from the groom’s?

• etc...

And there’s a time and a place for those questions, to be sure.

But I am pretty sure I walked into all three of those appointments and said “I don’t know” for 30 minutes straight.

When I first walked into those appointments, not knowing what to expect and not knowing what I didn’t know and not knowing much of ANYTHING… except that I was getting married and getting married meant flowers… I led with the same thing:

“I don’t know what I want. I want red. I love red. But I don’t know anything about flowers, or what comes in red, or what goes together, or any of that. I just want it to look great.”

The FOURTH florist I spoke to… listened.  She said “Don’t worry. We are going to make it beautiful. You know what? You said you love red. Nothing is more romantic than a red rose. Let’s center your florals around red roses.” 

Guess which florist I went with? 

AND

That florist was the floral manager at a grocery store.

That was over 15 years ago. I don’t remember her name. I think it may have been Brenda. But that experience stuck with me. All I needed was a nudge in a direction, some input, something to work off of.

When I first started doing wedding floral design, it was just a hobby. I had friends getting married. They needed flowers. I had done my own flowers, so I had at least some experience to share.

And they had been to their own florist consults and hadn't enjoyed them.

When we first sat down to talk about what they wanted, ALL THREE COUPLES said “We don’t even know what we want. We just want the pictures to be great.”  And usually something they knew they didn’t want: “...but also, please don’t make it look like prom.” “We want flowers, but we’re dudes. Don’t turn it into a Disney princess flower explosion.”  “We hate baby’s breath.”

None of these couples could name a favorite flower.

Two didn’t even have a wedding palette picked out.

They were all anxious.

So I asked them something different: How do you want this to feel? 

And of course, they all started trying to answer about flowers - “Well… we don’t want like… a round bouquet”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I mean. What do you want your event to feel like?

Do you want it to be traditional?

Relaxed?

Emotional?

Moody?

Bright?

What do you picture when you think about how the day or night is going to go?”

One said: “It’s going to be October. The aspens are going to be changing colors. It’ll be outside. That’s one of our favorite things about living here.”

One said “We’d really like it if people just wanted to stay and hang out and visit.”

One said “The thing is, even though this is my second one, I’ve never really had a wedding. She hasn’t either. I know it's next week, but I just want my future wife to be happy.”

And that’s all we needed to get started.

Most couples don’t know what they want in terms of flowers—but they do know how they want their wedding to feel. You don’t need to know flower names, or bouquet shapes, or even a fully formed vision.  You just need a feeling - a starting point - and maybe a few things you love (or don’t love).

That’s where I come in. Just like someone once did for me. “You know what? You said you love red. Nothing is more romantic than a red rose. Let’s start with red roses.” 

Or “I know y’all love hiking national parks. One time you told me about the super bloom in Death Valley. Let’s do Death Valley Super Bloom meets Aspens changing colors in the fall”

Or “When I think ‘let’s hang out and chill,’ that feels cozy. Let’s keep things cozy, warm, and low-key. And don't worry - no baby's breath.”

Or “I hear you saying, ‘I want her to feel like we started planning this a year ago and she’s having the wedding of her dreams.’ Let’s design something that feels like that.” 

And then we build from there.

So here’s what that means for you:

• You’re normal for not knowing where to start.

• You don’t need flower knowledge.

• You do have enough to get started. 

• I know how to guide you.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need a starting point - and I’ll take it from there. You’re more ready than you think. 

If you’re not sure what you want yet—that’s okay. That’s exactly where we start.

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